so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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