I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
