AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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