think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
