Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
