I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
