Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
