Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
