she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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