Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
