Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
