I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
