Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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