Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
