Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
