Jerry, you need to find god
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
