Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
3pm strippers are depressing
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize