I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
How's work?
Spinning.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
