May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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