Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
