at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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