p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
