I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Come see our sink grown plant.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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