My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
