she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
