I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
