Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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