Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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