Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
