Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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