I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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