The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She even gives head with a lisp.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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