I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
