Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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