Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
