You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
