Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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