you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
