He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
