whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
