I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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