I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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