Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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