I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
