New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
