let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
