I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
a search helicopter?!
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
