I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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