Whod you bang
I hate your face
Everything about him screamed your future.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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