seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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