I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
