Define "chronic" masturbator.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
