We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers