Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  needless to say I left

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  (203): I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard. (203): needless to say I left http://tfl.nu/ueme
  Replies (15) Good night (663) Bad night (2867)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.

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  (303): I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine. http://tfl.nu/vmvb
  Replies (2) Good night (2332) Bad night (415) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.

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  (732): The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party. http://tfl.nu/2ynx
  Replies (7) Good night (4580) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....

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  (248): To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet.... http://tfl.nu/cx4o
  Replies (5) Good night (5017) Bad night (818) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.

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  (215): A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts. http://tfl.nu/gdkg
  Replies (20) Good night (4095) Bad night (933) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)

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  (602): Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...) http://tfl.nu/p4po
  Replies (13) Good night (836) Bad night (1609)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.

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  (+61): How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face. http://tfl.nu/d4p2
  Replies (8) Good night (644) Bad night (1256) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals

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  (817): We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals http://tfl.nu/i9zu
  Replies (12) Good night (1923) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.

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  (803): yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham. http://tfl.nu/2zl2
  Replies (4) Good night (2087) Bad night (491) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk

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  (613): Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk http://tfl.nu/x5i0
  Replies (6) Good night (1360) Bad night (423)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."

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  (256): I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now." http://tfl.nu/g734
  Replies (6) Good night (1497) Bad night (296) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.

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  (219): The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover. http://tfl.nu/mbl4
  Replies (3) Good night (249) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.

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  (914): So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy. http://tfl.nu/skqk
  Replies (3) Good night (746) Bad night (307) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.

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  (931): Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close. http://tfl.nu/0xt0
  Replies (3) Good night (675) Bad night (502) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.

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  (719): Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done. http://tfl.nu/9qf5
  Replies (5) Good night (954) Bad night (149) Order T-Shirt

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