Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.