turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The uberlube is also flammable
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree