He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.