I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.