Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it