I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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