I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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