Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
